Elephant in the Room

She: "I think it is time we talked about the, you know, the elephant  in the room."

He: "I wondered when you would get round to mentioning that."

She: "It has been on my mind a long time. I was waiting for you to explain, but it looks like I will be waiting forever."

He: "Explain? I don't understand."

She: "What do you mean, you don't understand? I'm talking about the elephant in the room."

He: "I know what you're talking about, but I thought it was yours."

She: "What do you mean you thought it was mine?"

He:  " The elephant. I thought it was your elephant."

She: "Mine? Why would I need an elephant?"

He: "I don't know. I thought it best not to ask. As an aide-memoire maybe."

She: "It is not my elephant. I thought it was yours."

He: "Mine? Why would I need an elephant?"

She: "I've no idea. I thought it might have been a 'man thing'."

He: "Let's get this straight. It's not your elephant. It's not my elephant. What the hell is it doing here?"

She: "You mean that for months we have organised our lives around a huge animal that had nothing to do with either of us? Oh, that's just brilliant. Day after day having to edge round the sides of the room to get from one end to the other, watching TV through its legs as we balanced our meals on trays ever fearful of it having a 'little accident'. Not to mention the huge insrease in our food and water bills. What are we going to do?"

He: "Entice it out with a row of buns and never mention it again."

Chip News

Our local evening newspaper had an enticing offer to recruit new readers the other day - free chips. I'm not sure if the chips came ready-wrapped in the paper. I would have thought the last thing the people of this good town needed was to eat more chips.

A Walk in the Park

On sunday morning I went for a walk in the park. This was not easy. It involved detailed preparations to protect myself against the cold. A fresh covering of snow had been carefully placed over the town during the night.

I took my camera to capture the beauty of the morning. I met some swans who were walking on thin ice - not in terms of their attitude towards me, they really were on thin ice.

I followed the course of the miniature railway that winds its way around the lake. No trains on this day. I kept on the right side of the tracks for most of the way. At one point I walked close to the edge of the lake. The whole experience signalled the start of a day of cliches. At the end of the day I went to bed.